The Blues


Photo by Anshu

I fight the days when an abundance of love around me, does not seem to stop me from thinking about the wrongs that were done to me. All the hurt that I had labelled as the past came, rushing to the surface and threatened to consume my present and created fear for my future. Even though I had forgiven it, them and myself, healing is a continuum that demands a lifetime. Darkness slowly creeps in by blaming others and then an exhausting battle begins as I try and push it out of mind, wishing to push it out of my life but at last it settles comfortably within my control as I blame myself, convinced that I might have deserved it or I could have chosen a different path. The scars that only I can see and feel weigh heavily.

My whole being turns to prayer and is soon reminded of our Creator’s eternal grace and unconditional acceptance, as I hear a sparrow sing of joy outside my window, in tune with my heart beating of hope and my soul with no hesitation starts to sway in resilience. The darkness fades, as I can now feel the rays of sun on my face and deeply breathe in a new day. I train myself time and time again to surrender to all my dark and light experiences, to cherish them equally and to grow stronger roots for tomorrow. I am reminded of all that I have been given and all that I have conquered to keep moving towards fulfilling my mighty purpose. “Give me your heart, let your eyes find happiness in my ways.” Proverbs 23:26

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